Stranded in Area L- August 13 and 29th 2002
Mini Character List
Monte- is a pharmacy school comrade. Answers to Danger. Most likely to be spotted in a novelty t-shirt.
Peter- looks like a cross between Val Kilmer and Tom Cruise, but with Val Kilmer's height- young Val Kilmer. He taught my sister Megan and became part of our family. (I'm not sure exactly when it started, but for years he was my last call every single night. We would go over our daily lists (thank you Dr. Edward Hallowell). It was the best part of my day.
Mister Ghost- he has a whole chapter in my book He Seemed Normal…
Well, I feel stranded and abandoned here in the middle of the double R (Roanoke Rapids). Why am I here? There must be a reason but with only two weeks left in the rotation, I don’t see it yet. I voiced my discontentment with Mister Ghost and got the dead horse response. It is not worth repeating what I said and I can’t believe I let myself get rejected by him, twice. It hurts. I have only myself to blame for creating this situation but why is he still around? I am trying hard not to have any regrets in life, and I do not regret this because if I didn’t risk it then I wouldn’t have known that the horse was in fact already dead. I know absolutely nothing about relationships or animals. Life is all about taking risks and being fearless. Apparently. So, I have to ask myself, why am I so unhappy here? Is it because I am paying to work all day on this rotation and not getting paid? Is it because I don’t have a boyfriend? But I never have a boyfriend or money, so what is it?
It makes me feel better to remind myself that at least I have people who love me no matter what. Maybe I need to focus on that more instead of trying to see if I can get someone to love me again? Peter loves me no matter what and he is one of the best things to ever happen to me. Maybe I need to start calling him again every night? I have Monte too in my life and she is here with me drinking out a glass cowboy boot and reading old yachting magazines that are lying around the AHEC housing. It is nice to see someone around here has style and has been dreaming big.
The truth is Area L is a hard place to live and after less than a month I have seen that it is even a harder place to get out of alive. What would my life be like if I stayed here? I got a glimpse when my preceptor went on vacation. There was a floater at the pharmacy who drives a light blue (some might refer to it as Carolina Blue) vintage boat of a convertible that I am in love with. She has two beautiful children, a boy and a girl, and is married to a farmer. She seemed happy, and she was very clear that the key to her happiness was being married to the farmer. As she drank more diet Mountain Dew than I have ever seen anyone drink in a day, she would fill prescriptions, run the cash register, answer the phone, counsel patients, teach me practical pharmacy stuff and manage to sneak in different reasons why I too should marry a farmer. One reason is that they love their parents, especially their mothers, and since they treat their mothers well, they will treat you well. She also said farmers spend all of their time farming, so they have a lot of money saved up and will be able to get you a nice diamond. I don’t care about the diamond part. I am not interested in having a version of what around 90% of brides have as their engagement ring, not to mention something else on my body others can judge. No thank you. I didn’t say that part out loud, I can only tell you this.
Anyway, this pharmacist was also exactly my size which she pointed out when she gave me a sleeveless stretchy light brown dress from J. Crew that she didn’t wear anymore. It fit me perfectly and had pockets. On her last day she showed me a picture of who she lovingly referred to as her “dumb farmer” with a huge smile on her face and I could tell she loved him as she looked at the picture a little too long before putting it away. I am sure I gave it all away on my face, but she didn’t notice, that he was not what I was expecting. He looked like she could have cut him out of a magazine. Think Stetson man. Rugged. Handsome. She had sold me. So maybe that was why I was here, to meet my farmer? I felt better just thinking of this new possibility so, I put on my new dress and with Mister Ghost out of my life, but not my head, I ask for the strength not to communicate with him again and for someone else to take his place, and with any luck, please let it be my farmer.